Should I tell how she climbed on my lap yesterday, fever making her so sleepy, and put her head on my chest and slept? How I knew I should wake her, if I wanted her to sleep overnight, but I held her instead because she was beautiful and warm and sick, and because I miss getting to hold her when she sleeps?
Or maybe I should talk about how I feel, connected to my body in a way I haven't felt (indeed, that I'd forgotten) since the days of hook kicks and ridge hand breaks and Basai Dai? How it feels so good to push myself, to find out how far I can go, even when I'm the weakest in the class, and usually the slowest, too?
Maybe I could find the words to talk of disappointment and hope, of waiting and waiting and waiting for the future. I could tell you of impatience, of angry words and fear, and also of rest and peace and joy, when we finally see a road sign.
Or maybe I will just wander with my words, touching here and there but never landing. Maybe I'll toss out hints and see what becomes of them, throw out the first part of a sentence and see how you finish it. Because thoughts don't come whole and life isn't tossed around in digestable bits and pieces. Sometimes, I have to chew a while before there's much to say.
Back with Imperfect Prose today, where it doesn't have to be polished or fit in the nice little box with the ribbon.
7 comments:
the future will get here on its own...i am glad though you feel that connection, keep pushing, in that i come alive...
I felt this post bouncing lightly from place to place, just like wandering. You have a wonderful way with words, my friend. I love reading your writing.
I feel like this--tidbits of thoughts that I can't seem to finish!
This is, after all, where most of us live.
Love you and missing you.
xoxo
k
oooh, I like this wandering alot, the touching without delving, getting a glimpse of breadths not depths, tickles me pink.
i have missed you so much....
I hope your little one recovers soon. I enjoy reading your wanderings. :)
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