23 August 2010

Not Morbid, Just Grateful

One day I'll leave this life. We all will. The reality of that, the fact that I won't always wake up in bed next to Dave with a sleepy girl rocking in her crib next door, has been hitting hard lately. I don't know why. I'm not one to dwell on death, though I'm not one to avoid the thoughts when they come, either. But the realization makes these days, these moments, all the more precious. If I found out I was going to die in 30 days, I hope I wouldn't change a thing except to spend more time taking notice of and delight in the life that I get to lead every day.

for Earl Grey in the cup
for a scramble-crawling baby
that a friend and mentor is back and well
for Mirren's sweet face and rocking in her crib when I came to get her
for colored paper
for God's smile upon me
for the hope Dave and I have found in recent days
for water to drink that is crisp and clear and free of disease
for making new friends
for learning how I am with people (that I am deep and not wide) and learning to accept that
for cider
for Arrested Development
for Miles
for laughing with Dave and remembering how much I love that
for getting enough sleep
for the baby plastered in mangos and bananas, and for the one who rolls around in the night
for two cars that go
for things to write
for being noticed and seen just when I needed to
for Mirren's empathic little heart.

Join us at Ann's for more grateful days.


emily wierenga said...

i know. it's been hitting hard here, too. i too, am learning the small things, to enjoy and rest. bless you, friend.

Gaye said...

Thank you for reminding me today that there is so much to be grateful for.

christianne said...

What you shared at the beginning of your post about thoughts of mortality making you treasure each moment of each day a little more ... reminds me of the thoughts Kirsten shared about having knowledge of Ewan's little heart ... how it has made her thankful for all the workouts he does inside her belly and all the physical changes of her body and all the little things she does each day that remind her she is pregnant with new life inside.

It's neat to see you both in a place of savoring and cherishing gratitude.

I liked reading the specifics of your gratitude list. And I'm glad you're one who is deep (instead of wide) with people. Me too.