10 November 2011

Loving the Sharp Places

It's easy, when the beautiful is her smile and the sun reflecting off her blonde hair as she runs ahead of me. And it's easy when she dances on the living room floor, just-learned jumps still wobbly but nothing half-hearted about them.

But it's different when the beautiful is tears at dinner because her olive fell apart and demands to get out of the car while it's still moving. It's different when naps don't happen and they dare change the clocks and she doesn't want to wear diapers but refuses to use the potty.

We think of beauty as the round and the smooth, with graceful edges balanced by straight lines. But beauty can be pointy, too, and sharp, and hard as a rock. Some say that isn't beauty, but when it's a little heart trying to figure out what it means to be human, what else can it be?

And so I try to love her like she's beautiful, even the hard parts. I wrap my arms around all of her, even the points and the prickles, and I hold her close to me even when she's sharp. How else will she learn of love, that it has more to do with the lover than the condition of the beloved? Because to be human is to be loved, and that's what I'd have her know more than anything else.


kirsten said...

How else will she learn of love, that it has more to do with the lover than the condition of the beloved?

That, my friend, is called wisdom. I love how you love your daughter. And I love how she teaches you.

Yes, love can be sharp and pointed and painful. It can, in fact, also be terrible. But even then, it is love.

Thank you for writing this.

terri said...

These are holy words. I agree with Kirsten. You are a very wise and very loving mother. Hope the sharp edges are smoothing out just a little. Love you dear.

Tara said...

This is wonderful.and wise.i too have a hard-edged darling daring daughter...intense in beauty and in the possibility to love true.

so glad to have found you through emily's today!

christianne said...

I'm with Kirsten and Terri on this one, too. Such holiness here. It brought tears to my eyes to read it.

Your words reminded me of a David Wilcox song called "Hard Part." Have you heard it?

emily wierenga said...

extraordinarily beautiful friend... i love how you wrap your arms tight around... xo

Tammy said...

Hi Sarah. It's me. I am blogging again after taking a year off. I am trying to play catch up now because i have been away so long.

"How else will she learn of love, that it has more to do with the lover than the condition of the beloved?" OMG!! I love this quote!!!! I am so going to quote you on this. That statement carries such a punch. I love it. It is beautiful.

As I begin reading posts I realize how much I miss you all. I have been reading Christianne and Terri's posts today too and I keep saying wow! I have really missed you guys.

Laura said...

I so love your mommy musings. Love drips from each word.

Sharon Wang said...

This is beautiful! We are having the same problem over here with wanting to get out of the car seat and car while we are driving. "Come out! Come out! Come out!"