20 October 2010

Opening Our Chutes

Walking. Taking tentative steps forward, foot following foot, hoping that we don't topple at the end.

I wish I was talking about the baby. But no.

Today, and for the next several months of days, we'll be preparing our home, our lives, and our hearts for starting over. Opportunities have dried up here, dried into nothing until we can crackle them in our hands like the leaves that fall off the trees outside. And we don't want to stay, here in the land where they worship concrete, where the sun is wonderful but the green patches are too small and have too much space between them.

We want more, for ourselves and our girl and any littles who will follow her. Life, rich and clear and full, like good running river water. And so we leave a land that has dried out, as many have done before us when the sun baked their patch of earth, and head into we know not what. But we go, flinging ourselves into a faith that we're not quite ready for, hoping the stories we've heard will carry us when our own hearts fail.

We've made our final plans (or as final as they can be over two months in advance). We know where we're going and how we're getting there. We know when the truck is coming and when we'll pack our things. We know where our girl will lay her head for this next season.

Beginning anew brings hope. Some days it feels like an adventure, like standing on the edge of that cliff I jumped off of when I was 21, and we know the chute will open and we'll land somewhere fresh and new.

But we say goodbye to so much, and so much is unknown . . . so much is unknown.


Linking with Emily today.

21 comments:

Mama Zen said...

Best of luck! Change can be so hard.

Kati patrianoceu said...

Oh don't I know that feeling so well! (Actually I wrote about the flipside of a familiar experience today - but you may not want to read it as it probably won't encourage you at this particular point in time!) I hope you find ways to enjoy the moments of anticipation.

Brian Miller said...

smiles. it is a scary and exciting time to take that leap...sometimes you know the next step but no the one after it...enjoy the ride...

Brian Miller said...

smiles. it is a scary and exciting time to take that leap...sometimes you know the next step but no the one after it...enjoy the ride...

Laura said...

May you be blessed on your journey...where ever you go...where ever you stay.

gentle steps

Lauri said...

the thrill of jumping in faith! I love your picture or dried opportunities like dried leaves. Prayers for you and yours as you jump and wait for the chute to open

-t- said...

enjoy this journey... may you know His peace each baby step of the way :)

Wandering On Purpose said...

A scary and yet exciting time as your faith is stretched. Praying you experience as much joy as possible in the midst of the leap.

thescreamingkettle said...

I'm excited and anxious for you at the same time. We have often thought of packing up everything and moving, but something keeps us rooted here.

Carrie Burtt said...

Sarah it is always hard to make such big changes in our lives, God bless you in your now and in your time ahead. :-)

life or something like it said...

Oh wow! THis is where I am at! I too am jumping yet again into the unknown.

Sarah said...

Thank you all so much. Leaping *is* scary, but it's also good. May we all jump well!

terri said...

did you ever read "the way of transition"? it talks about that place where we're suspended between two things, sort of like a trapeze artist suspended between bars. i was reminded of that book when i read this post. transition is so hard, but i think it can also be a time of great creativity and opportunity. i trust your instincts, and i know that you'll make the most of this place in your life. i pray that it gives birth to something new and amazing and very green.

emily wierenga said...

But we go, flinging ourselves into a faith that we're not quite ready for, hoping the stories we've heard will carry us when our own hearts fail.

LOVE this. love you. xo

Heather said...

You know, half the time, the unknown is not nearly as fun as it sounds on paper. ;)

christianne said...

I'm so glad you know these things so that you can start putting the pieces in motion. You're no longer holding the "what if" as much, and you're no longer waiting to start moving. Now, you're really moving.

I'm thankful for this technology (blogging, Facebooking, Twittering, and even old-fashioned e-mail and phone!) that will allow me to keep plugged into your story along the way.

Love to you from here!

Christianne

deb said...

it feels good to have made the decision I'm sure..
the rest will work itself out, it will.

Connie Mace said...

GOD's Peace to you as you don't know the future, but you rest in The GOD Who holds it in the palm of His Hand.

heatherroth said...

Thanks for stopping by last week! It's always good to know when people understand. And blessings on your new adventure!

alittlebitograce said...

may you experience peace and the security of God's arms even as you leap out into the great unknown.

Joelle said...

Adventure well! Every goodbye is a hello, every grief a gift, every loss a new fullness. May your journey be full of Grace!