10 November 2010

Musings on Separateness and Togetherness

She cries when the other babies cry, and I know well a heart that works like that.

There are days even now, when I've learned of boundaries and separateness (things she knows nothing about yet), that the world weighs too much. I feel tired for the carrying, for the loving and the holding and the amount of sorrow you can fit in a pound.

But I wouldn't trade my heart, and I won't trade hers either. There's something to be said for being with, for walking alongside and holding hands and letting your hands be held, too.
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The days are shorter and that's a good thing. Winter is a lonely time, they say, though I can't help but think that when naked branches reach towards the sky we get a chance to see what's really there, under the fancy red dress that's fallen off piece by piece over the last weeks.

Lonely, maybe, but only in the way that soul-sharing is lonely in that moment before one hand, then another, reach out to give support.
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Winter is nature's introvert. Summer is the extroverted sister, and fall and spring are the twins that mediate between them. 
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I hope she loves the snow like I do, loves looking at her extra-big footprints as she leaves steps behind her. I hope she learns to watch the leaves fall and feel the changes in her heart as the seasons change outside.

I pray she can embrace the winter times, in her life and her soul, with grace and beauty and peace. They are but a moment, here and there, where she gets to stop and lie dormant. 

I pray that I learn to embrace them, too, to make my peace with absence and lying fallow and gestation, just as I've made it with presence and fullness and growth. 

Amen.

Joining with Imperfect Prose, over at Emily's.

12 comments:

terri said...

this made me more comfortable with where i live and who i am, and that's saying something.

Nancy said...

winter is nature's introvert--I like this. So hard to make peace with the winter times. Lovely, lovely writing. So nice meeting you through emily. Blessings.

Carrie Burtt said...

So much truth of life and love in this Sarah...truly lovely! :-)

Misty said...

sarah this is just stunning, one of my faves you've written. "Lonely, maybe, but only in the way that soul-sharing is lonely in that moment before one hand, then another, reach out to give support." THIS is soul-baring and honest and such beauty-truth. i am one who suffers lonliness a lot and i think i forget that in the sharing, like you said, that moment before souls meet, that it's the lonliest/scariest place, but the thaw that happens after. yes.
such beautiful writing here.

emily wierenga said...

Winter is a lonely time, they say, though I can't help but think that when naked branches reach towards the sky we get a chance to see what's really there...

sarah, i agree with misty... i think this is my favorite of everything you've written. the way you weave between babe and seasons and intertwine lessons and feelings ... it's a wealth of poetry, a simple yet profound piece that i want to keep digging into. absolutely beautiful, girl. you are a lovely mama.

Laura said...

I love your love letters to your sweetest. So beautiful. This time of year makes me feel vulnerable. Perhaps it is as you say...we see what is really there. Lovely, Sarah.

Kelly Sauer said...

Hullo, Sarah - I just wanted to let you know - you won my design giveaway.

faith said...

"Winter is nature's introvert. Summer is the extroverted sister, and fall and spring are the twins that mediate between them." - I love this! I really love all the seasons, the twins are my favorites. :)

writingcanvas said...

I've am one who does not like the long, dark winter . . . as we've gone through two children's death's during winter . . . but as I wrote today, the clouds are not as dark . . . and the sun is shinning through more. I loved how you wrote, about through the branches we can see what's really there. Yes, God is giving a new vision. THANK YOU for sharing!

It's my first time joining Imperfect Prose and YOU! :)

J said...

I love your purpose....teaching your girl to not fear the Winter. I wish I had been more prepared for Winter....long, relentless, sorrow times....but who likes to talk of this? I felt that something unusual was happening to me.....but life is hard....and we must embrace like you say...and teach our kids to embrace these times. I read a devotional the other day that said to thank God for allowing hard times...for it helps form us into more holy beings...it challenged us to say, "Thank you God for dealing with me". What a new perspective this brings when we are thankful--and prepared--for Winter. Love your writing. (visiting from Emily's)

Courtney Walsh said...

These words:

"Winter is a lonely time, they say, though I can't help but think that when naked branches reach towards the sky we get a chance to see what's really there, under the fancy red dress that's fallen off piece by piece over the last weeks."

made me sigh in sweet contentedness. :)

christianne said...

This is a beautiful post, my friend.

It's amazing what you can see in Mirren even though she is so young, and it's amazing that you can also see yourself in her, and some of what her road ahead will hold because of it.

Your prayers and wishes for her are beautiful. I'm glad she has you for a mama, because you will share these kinds of things with her, things that will cause her to notice the way the world around her mirrors the world inside her.